Finding Our Way Through
Preserving and Directing our Energy with Self-Awareness and Intentionality
This month, I planned to send you a practical, solution-oriented blog about federal grants readiness. And you are still getting that, but as I sit at my desk this Sunday, January 26th, I can’t shake the weight of exhaustion. The world feels heavy. I wonder if it does for you too.
I’m being flooded with information from organizations and individuals sounding the alarm for everything from human rights violations to a crumbling democracy. It’s relentless, and the sheer volume of information is overwhelming.
It has led me to ask panic-induced questions like:
How do we stop [fill in the blank] from happening?
Am I part of the problem if I’m not actively responding to every injustice I see on every platform?
I have no control over any of this. Right? Right!?!?!?
And it has led me to slightly more productive questions like:
What can I control? How do I build strong connections within my community? How do I make sure I know my neighbors even better than I do today?
To what extent are things 1000 times worse, and to what extent has the reality not changed all that much? Am I uncomfortable with people being deported to unsafe conditions always, or only when Trump is doing it?
I feel immense pressure to say something—anything—to join the chorus of outrage, anger, and calls to action. And I feel those things deeply. The rage. The frustration. The urgency. And I will act. And I will create calls to action.
But I’m also trying to sit with the discomfort and grief and identify what I am even experiencing instead of rushing to react. It’s not easy, but it feels important.
Two ideas keep resurfacing in my mind.
The first comes from an NPR interview I heard shortly after the November election. The guest reflected on the media’s role during the Trump administration and posed a thought-provoking question: by constantly amplifying the chaos and mess, were we (the media), in some ways, playing into his hands? Is the chaos the point? And if so, how do we counteract that while still staying informed?
The second idea I’ve seen circulating on social media: our nervous systems aren’t designed to carry the weight of knowing everything happening to everyone, everywhere, all the time. That truth resonates. We’re inundated with information, crisis after crisis, and our bodies and minds aren’t equipped for this constant deluge.
We don’t need to numb ourselves or disengage, but we do need to preserve our energy and choose where to direct it. We need to discern where we can make a meaningful impact—and that starts with self-awareness and intentionality.
I have needed and struggled to give myself permission to pause. To take a breath. To allow my nervous system to rest and reset. And as I continue to remind myself of this, I’ll take a moment to remind you as well. It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to feel tired. And it’s okay not to have all the answers or know what to do next.
To get specific, I’m giving myself permission NOT to share about the incredible mess that is federal grants at this moment. Maybe the chaos created in the last week (it’s only been a week!) is temporary, and adding to the chaos by posting about it ONLY adds to the chaos. And maybe the chaos is ongoing, and we will double down on what we can control.
And I acknowledge that those of us in federal grants work day-to-day are feeling it right now. If you are navigating this chaos and have questions about a specific scenario, I welcome those in the comments. I’ll respond to them all.
What matters most is that we keep showing up—for ourselves, our communities, and the causes we care about—in sustainable and intentional ways.
If you follow along, you will see calls to action show up in my newsletters. I’m committed to that. But I’m giving myself permission to do that when my nervous system isn’t a mess. And I hope you’ll join in when you can and give yourself a break when it becomes too much.